how can we change the world

Today I finally saw the movie I AM, created and directed by Tom Shadyac.  As I was perusing YouTube to find some clips to post, I came across this video made by Sangavi and Becky.  I think it’s pretty awesome, and so I’m sharing it with you:

 

 

 

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i surrender/ soul force

I had a follow up exam for my rotator cuff injury with my doctor today.  There has been a lot of improvement (as one would hope after FOUR WEEKS).  But there is still pain on the top of my shoulder,  tightness and pain on the long muscle on the side and back of my arm, and some limited range of motion; so my doctor says there is no way that I can return to restaurant work without risking deepened injury.  In fact he has reset the next follow up appointment for JANUARY 30TH.  He says I also need to continue constant use of the sling, even with the improvement I’ve had, which I  honestly loathe.  I always end up getting extremely toddler-having-a-tantrum frustrated every time I have it on and am trying to do the simplest things.  Jack keeps telling me this is a small chunk in the time of my life, and I know that he’s right, but I have been starting to go a bit out of my mind not being able to work, go to the gym, help out around the house more (especially with Jack now working even more), and just normal every day things now being so much more challenging.

 

Then my doctor and I went over yesterday’s doctor visits (re: the kidney stone I mentioned in yesterday’s post; he had referred me to a specialist) and their findings.  He actually drew a different conclusion from what we know so far (some tests are still out) and that it is in fact NOT a kidney stone.  And after our long discussion, I have to say I agree with him.   Mainly because, although it is causing me excruciating pain, I have not had a lot of the tell-tale signs of a kidney stone(back pain, blood in urine, etc).  He agrees there is some kind of calcification near the uterus/bladder/stomach area, but that it’s hard to determine exactly where or what’s causing it from the x-rays, and the sonograms didn’t help much in revealing any additional information either.  So at this point, I am on heavy pain medication (he prescribed me NINETY Vicodin, I am not even joking), heating pad, lots of liquids, simple diet, and rest rest rest rest.  And rest. And rest.

 

So.  I surrender.  Seriously.  I’ve been internally and not-so-internally fighting this time-off-from-work-due-to-injury since it first occurred (even worked a shift after it happened before my body said NO FREAKING WAY).  I just can’t be irritated or worried or anxious or any of that any more.  I’m tired of it.  The truth is, if this calcification or whateverthehellitis hadn’t appeared, you bet your butt I would have feigned my shoulder being better than it actually is so that I could get to work.  If I’m honest, I know that I would have done that.  So for whatever reason, the Universe has decided that I am not going to be waiting tables right now, or anything else for that matter,  but rather resting, meditating, taking hot baths, writing, reading, and watching a bajillion documentaries on Netflix.  Fine, okay, I get it, thank you.

 

Minor side note, but not of little importance:   as I was preparing to leave my doctor’s office, he and I got into a discussion about the state of the nation (food corporations, bureaucracy , government, insurance and pharmaceutical companies, recent OWS protests, etc).  His thoughts resonated strongly with mine.  We have to be like Gandhi when he evoked satyagraha (soul force) in solidarity with Indians by boycotting foreign cotton and instead spinning their own  on the Charkha (Indian spinning wheel, which btw is also their national symbol today for self reliance).  We have to get self reliant (hello Emerson),  evoke our own personal power, and work together.  And the key to that is simplicity.  Simplicity.  I love that, because it is the answer and key to so many things(EVERYTHING), from the minor every day events to Global issues.  What that might(probably…definitely) mean is the sacrifice of some things…but the gain created by such sacrifice promises to be great.  I’m on board.

 

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